Since September is already beyond its halfway point at the time of writing this column, I would like to articulate some of the reasons I am super stoked to FALL into the best time of the year.
First off, obviously the school year has collapsed itself on our lap like a sick puppy in a hurricane, but we should observe that school brings some pretty neat things along with it. High school goes hand-in-hand with High School Football, which happens to be one of my favorite things. As Colfax High senior John Mccann frequently says, “God bless the high school football community!!” This community is one made up of players, coaches, cheerleaders, and most importantly, fans, all with a clear bias as to who they want to win.
The Friday night lights illuminate both a dominant football team and a Goldmine full of energy. I would be hard-pressed to find a better way to spend a Friday night than to be watching the Hillmen crush some poor team that failed to realize that they were on Placer turf.
While football season is a clear benefactor as to why autumn is the superior season, the garments we wear are also very important. With colder weather comes colder outfits, and the chance to wear clothes that would likely kill a small animal if worn during the summer.
Hoodies, coats, beanies, pullovers, and sweatpants are now a part of the commoner’s wardrobe, and I am 100% super stoked. Often during the summer recess, I would be afraid to even wear jeans for fear of hyperventilation in the cruel Northern California sun.
Look at me now California! You may be on fire right now, but I can comfortably wear pants now so take that!!!
Perhaps the most profound argument that I have for fall being the best season by far is the sheer existence of “Spooky Season.” Spooky Season is not a time of the year, but a way of life. Bring your skeletons out of the closet (literally, of course), grab yourself a pumpkin spice latte, and start slapping “Monster Mash” out of your car as loud as you can, as Halloween is but a month away. Gone is the anxiety of waiting to try on your costume you prepared months in advance. Gone is your caloric integrity, being murdered by the sheer amount of candy you are going to potentially consume over the next month. Gone is the time of the year not made up of spooky stuff.
There you have it. I just learnt y’all a thing or two about why autumn is the best season, and it’s not even a close comparison. If you disagree, please send a strongly worded email to [email protected], explaining how you know you’re wrong, how you will learn to be better next time, and how you will venmo me five dollars for even thinking such abstract, and blatantly wrong thoughts. My venmo is RySantos13 if you’re feeling generous.